"The Scene"
ACT I
scene 1
SETTING: A modest drinking establishment, but not a dive. There maybe floor service.
AT RISE: We see MAN sitting and drinking a beer at the bar. The back of the bar where the booze would be stored is facing the audience so we see MAN’s face.
(Enter WOMAN from the street. She carries a bag or knapsack, and is looking pretty good, but not dressed up. She tried really hard to look attractive and even harder not look like she gave a shit about how she looked. So it looks like she’s a natural beauty. But only lakes and mountains can be that. WOMAN sees MAN she walks toward him and takes the seat next to him at the bar)
WOMAN
Hello.
MAN
(turns to her just noticing her)
Oh. Hello.
(A slight awkward moment as they go to kiss each other hello. They do the European cheek kiss thing)
WOMAN
Thanks for meeting me. I really appreciate it.
MAN
(slightly uncomfortable)
Yeah. Sure.
WOMAN
So how’ve you been?
MAN
Fine. Good. Thanks. Yourself?
WOMAN
Not bad. Ahh. You know.
MAN
Sure.
(pause)
Are you going to get a drink?
WOMAN
Oh yeah right. Bar keep! Gin and Tonic my good man.
MAN
Bar keep?
(he smiles)
WOMAN
(She guzzles the drink)
MAN
Thirsty.
WOMAN
Well, you know booze makes me drunk.
MAN
Me too.
WOMAN
Yes, I remember. Awesome!
(She raises her glass)
Cheers.
(She smiles at him)
MAN
Look, ahh. I’m meeting up with my…I have plans at 9.
WOMAN
With your girlfriend?
MAN
Girlfriend?
(because he’s not ready
to call the chick he’s
meeting his girlfriend.)
Yeah, sure.
WOMAN
Good for you. You can say it you know.
MAN
Yeah. I know.
WOMAN
She was one of your reasons.
MAN
Yeah yeah.
WOMAN
We’re friends. Right?
MAN
Anyway…
WOMAN
Right. Here’s the deal. I wrote this e-mail like a week ago relating a bunch of thoughts I have been having. And the e-mail was to you. But then I thought – well, actually James thought, he was online at the time I was composing it. I had him review the letter, give criticism--what not.
MAN
Proof read? ‘Cause you’re spelling is atrocious.
WOMAN
Yes, there were words corrected; sentences were reworded; motifs developed the whole kit and caboodle. I wanted this to be as painless as possible. Because I care. There I said it. I care. I care about the amount of pain and discomfort you feel.
MAN
Can I go then?
WOMAN
Of course not.
MAN
Right.
WOMAN
So we fixed the e-mail made it nice and pretty for you. I don’t think you met James. But James said,…Well, he typed he was on messenger, that I should express these things to you in person. So, I memorized the e-mail and was prepared to perform it as a monologue. Melinda came over and directed the piece. Did you ever meet Melinda? She suggested setting it Borneo.
MAN
I hate Borneo! I was railroaded there.
WOMAN
I know. Crazy. Of all the countries she could have picked. Like why not England? So I told her, no go on Borneo. He may have a panic attack or seizure at just the mention of that place. Like I said, I care.
MAN
Thanks.
WOMAN
You’re most certainly welcome. She did have an artistic vision and she got a little Bob Fosse on me for a second, but I stood my ground.
MAN
Who? What? I’m confused you want me to see you’re new monologue?
WOMAN
No. Jesse said… you never met him either. Huh?
MAN
You’ve never invited me out with your friends.
WOMAN
Really?
MAN
Yeah, Really.
WOMAN
Huh? Anyhoo. Jesse thought a monologue leaves you no place to speak.
MAN
Kind of like now.
WOMAN
Right. So Kate and I wrote this…
(She reaches into her bag
and pulls out what looks to
be two copies of a script)
MAN
Kate?
WOMAN
Yet another pal. (beat) I’m off book of coarse. But don’t feel pressure. You just read the lines as best you can.
MAN
(he looks through the script)
Wait… this is me.
WOMAN
Yes.
MAN
You wrote my part of the conversation.
WOMAN
Exactly. You should have your say too. In fact you start.
MAN
No.
WOMAN
I’m pretty sure you do.
(She opens the script.)
Yeah. Here. “Thanks for calling and asking me to meet. I’ve missed our seeing each other.” Go ahead say it.
MAN
Ahh ahhh… I don’t know that---
WOMAN
You have to be getting somewhere so lets not dilly dally.
MAN
Fine. (half heartedly reads) “Thanks for calling and asking to meet. I’ve missed our seeing each other.”
WOMAN
“Me too. That’s one of the main reasons I called. I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened with us recently—“ (pause) You’re supposed to cut me off.
MAN
Oh oh uhh. Go back.
WOMAN
“…Thinking a lot about what happened with us recently—“
MAN
“Me too!”
WOMAN
“Really?”
MAN
“Yeah” (said like no)
WOMAN
“I was really scared to get involved with you.”
MAN
Oh me again.
WOMAN
You’ll get it.
MAN
“Yeah, me too. I really think you’re amazing and that scared the shit out of me. Because I just wasn’t ready to fall in love again, it hurts so much and leaves a person feeling like Dresden, a wreck--destroyed, when it doesn’t work out. And I think I could really fall for you.” What?!
WOMAN
“I kind of figured that. And I was scared because you’re a nut case. Not that it’s your fault. I mean spending two years in Borneo prison will screw with anyone’s psyche.”—
MAN
Can we not talk about Borneo anymore?
WOMAN
I still have a line.
MAN
Ugh.
WOMAN
“But I said to myself. ‘Self. You like this boy’.”
MAN
Boy?
WOMAN
Please. “He makes you happy when he calls. You get that warm feeling radiating from your solar plexus when he’s near. And whether or not his insanity”—
MAN
I’m not insane.
WOMAN
Baby, it’s almost you’re turn. Shhh there there.
(Finding her place in the
dialogue)
Anyone’s psyche umm…oh what… anyone’s psyche oh insanity… right uh “ Whether or not his insanity is his fault or not is an
WOMAN(Cont’d)
independent issue. The issue is that I accept you as you are. The whole person. Plus, I really like having sex with you.”
MAN
Thanks.
(She looks at him to say it’s your turn to speak)
Oh yeah. “I’m so happy you feel that way. Ever since I told you I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been thinking maybe I really fucked up. I’ve picked up the phone 100 times to call you and take it all back. But I didn’t want to play with your emotions. I figured I’d made my bed, now I must lie in it. I really feel a strong connection with you. The way the moon is connected to the tide or a numerator is connected to the denominator. I think any awkwardness that I mentioned was just from the fear. The fear we both had. And fear is the great destroyer. The destructor of nations and men. And I’d just like to say, ‘thank you.’ Thank you for having the courage to confess these feelings, and having the courage to love me unconditionally, as I love you.”
WOMAN
“So what do you say? Should we try for real this time?”
MAN
Look.
WOMAN
No, there are no more lines. We kiss and exit.
MAN
Yeah, uh it’s 8:40. I have to head across town.
WOMAN
The play is the thing, man. That’s not in the script.
MAN
Look…
WOMAN
Just fall in love with already.
MAN
Love takes time to develop. You can’t just write that I fall in love with you.
WOMAN
Well, I did. So you’re wrong there.
MAN
Of course you can write it, but it doesn’t mean, that I will.
WOMAN
What am I six? I wrote a scene. I needed to open up as person and ask for what I wanted. The least you can do as a friend is finish the scene with me. Do you know what the word friend means? If you’re so scared of kissing me, perhaps, you are in love with me?
MAN
We dated for like a month.
WOMAN
I saw Moonstruck I know that people can fall in love after one awkward meeting in the basement of bakery.
MAN
That was a movie.
WOMAN
Art imitates life. Everyone knows that.
MAN
I’m not going to kiss you when I’m seeing someone else.
WOMAN
It’s not cheating if you’re acting. It’s theatre. I didn’t write a porno.
(they kiss. They look at each other lovingly.)
MAN
Yeah! I’m attracted to you!!! Happy?!
WOMAN
Now we’re supposed to exit.
MAN
Stop.
WOMAN
You stop.
MAN
No. You.
WOMAN
No. You.
MAN
No. You.
(They look at each other and start to laugh)
You’re crazy.
WOMAN
No, you’re crazy.
MAN
No y—we both are.
WOMAN
Agreed.
MAN
I do like you.
WOMAN
Me too.
MAN
But I can’t.
WOMAN
Yeah. (They look at each other in silence for a second.)
MAN
Right. Well…I got to get going.
WOMAN
Sure. Have fun.
MAN
Thanks.
(He exits.)
WOMAN
Barkeep, a triple, my good man! Must say he’s not so good at cold readings.
(BLACK OUT)
(END PLAY)
scene 1
SETTING: A modest drinking establishment, but not a dive. There maybe floor service.
AT RISE: We see MAN sitting and drinking a beer at the bar. The back of the bar where the booze would be stored is facing the audience so we see MAN’s face.
(Enter WOMAN from the street. She carries a bag or knapsack, and is looking pretty good, but not dressed up. She tried really hard to look attractive and even harder not look like she gave a shit about how she looked. So it looks like she’s a natural beauty. But only lakes and mountains can be that. WOMAN sees MAN she walks toward him and takes the seat next to him at the bar)
WOMAN
Hello.
MAN
(turns to her just noticing her)
Oh. Hello.
(A slight awkward moment as they go to kiss each other hello. They do the European cheek kiss thing)
WOMAN
Thanks for meeting me. I really appreciate it.
MAN
(slightly uncomfortable)
Yeah. Sure.
WOMAN
So how’ve you been?
MAN
Fine. Good. Thanks. Yourself?
WOMAN
Not bad. Ahh. You know.
MAN
Sure.
(pause)
Are you going to get a drink?
WOMAN
Oh yeah right. Bar keep! Gin and Tonic my good man.
MAN
Bar keep?
(he smiles)
WOMAN
(She guzzles the drink)
MAN
Thirsty.
WOMAN
Well, you know booze makes me drunk.
MAN
Me too.
WOMAN
Yes, I remember. Awesome!
(She raises her glass)
Cheers.
(She smiles at him)
MAN
Look, ahh. I’m meeting up with my…I have plans at 9.
WOMAN
With your girlfriend?
MAN
Girlfriend?
(because he’s not ready
to call the chick he’s
meeting his girlfriend.)
Yeah, sure.
WOMAN
Good for you. You can say it you know.
MAN
Yeah. I know.
WOMAN
She was one of your reasons.
MAN
Yeah yeah.
WOMAN
We’re friends. Right?
MAN
Anyway…
WOMAN
Right. Here’s the deal. I wrote this e-mail like a week ago relating a bunch of thoughts I have been having. And the e-mail was to you. But then I thought – well, actually James thought, he was online at the time I was composing it. I had him review the letter, give criticism--what not.
MAN
Proof read? ‘Cause you’re spelling is atrocious.
WOMAN
Yes, there were words corrected; sentences were reworded; motifs developed the whole kit and caboodle. I wanted this to be as painless as possible. Because I care. There I said it. I care. I care about the amount of pain and discomfort you feel.
MAN
Can I go then?
WOMAN
Of course not.
MAN
Right.
WOMAN
So we fixed the e-mail made it nice and pretty for you. I don’t think you met James. But James said,…Well, he typed he was on messenger, that I should express these things to you in person. So, I memorized the e-mail and was prepared to perform it as a monologue. Melinda came over and directed the piece. Did you ever meet Melinda? She suggested setting it Borneo.
MAN
I hate Borneo! I was railroaded there.
WOMAN
I know. Crazy. Of all the countries she could have picked. Like why not England? So I told her, no go on Borneo. He may have a panic attack or seizure at just the mention of that place. Like I said, I care.
MAN
Thanks.
WOMAN
You’re most certainly welcome. She did have an artistic vision and she got a little Bob Fosse on me for a second, but I stood my ground.
MAN
Who? What? I’m confused you want me to see you’re new monologue?
WOMAN
No. Jesse said… you never met him either. Huh?
MAN
You’ve never invited me out with your friends.
WOMAN
Really?
MAN
Yeah, Really.
WOMAN
Huh? Anyhoo. Jesse thought a monologue leaves you no place to speak.
MAN
Kind of like now.
WOMAN
Right. So Kate and I wrote this…
(She reaches into her bag
and pulls out what looks to
be two copies of a script)
MAN
Kate?
WOMAN
Yet another pal. (beat) I’m off book of coarse. But don’t feel pressure. You just read the lines as best you can.
MAN
(he looks through the script)
Wait… this is me.
WOMAN
Yes.
MAN
You wrote my part of the conversation.
WOMAN
Exactly. You should have your say too. In fact you start.
MAN
No.
WOMAN
I’m pretty sure you do.
(She opens the script.)
Yeah. Here. “Thanks for calling and asking me to meet. I’ve missed our seeing each other.” Go ahead say it.
MAN
Ahh ahhh… I don’t know that---
WOMAN
You have to be getting somewhere so lets not dilly dally.
MAN
Fine. (half heartedly reads) “Thanks for calling and asking to meet. I’ve missed our seeing each other.”
WOMAN
“Me too. That’s one of the main reasons I called. I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened with us recently—“ (pause) You’re supposed to cut me off.
MAN
Oh oh uhh. Go back.
WOMAN
“…Thinking a lot about what happened with us recently—“
MAN
“Me too!”
WOMAN
“Really?”
MAN
“Yeah” (said like no)
WOMAN
“I was really scared to get involved with you.”
MAN
Oh me again.
WOMAN
You’ll get it.
MAN
“Yeah, me too. I really think you’re amazing and that scared the shit out of me. Because I just wasn’t ready to fall in love again, it hurts so much and leaves a person feeling like Dresden, a wreck--destroyed, when it doesn’t work out. And I think I could really fall for you.” What?!
WOMAN
“I kind of figured that. And I was scared because you’re a nut case. Not that it’s your fault. I mean spending two years in Borneo prison will screw with anyone’s psyche.”—
MAN
Can we not talk about Borneo anymore?
WOMAN
I still have a line.
MAN
Ugh.
WOMAN
“But I said to myself. ‘Self. You like this boy’.”
MAN
Boy?
WOMAN
Please. “He makes you happy when he calls. You get that warm feeling radiating from your solar plexus when he’s near. And whether or not his insanity”—
MAN
I’m not insane.
WOMAN
Baby, it’s almost you’re turn. Shhh there there.
(Finding her place in the
dialogue)
Anyone’s psyche umm…oh what… anyone’s psyche oh insanity… right uh “ Whether or not his insanity is his fault or not is an
WOMAN(Cont’d)
independent issue. The issue is that I accept you as you are. The whole person. Plus, I really like having sex with you.”
MAN
Thanks.
(She looks at him to say it’s your turn to speak)
Oh yeah. “I’m so happy you feel that way. Ever since I told you I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been thinking maybe I really fucked up. I’ve picked up the phone 100 times to call you and take it all back. But I didn’t want to play with your emotions. I figured I’d made my bed, now I must lie in it. I really feel a strong connection with you. The way the moon is connected to the tide or a numerator is connected to the denominator. I think any awkwardness that I mentioned was just from the fear. The fear we both had. And fear is the great destroyer. The destructor of nations and men. And I’d just like to say, ‘thank you.’ Thank you for having the courage to confess these feelings, and having the courage to love me unconditionally, as I love you.”
WOMAN
“So what do you say? Should we try for real this time?”
MAN
Look.
WOMAN
No, there are no more lines. We kiss and exit.
MAN
Yeah, uh it’s 8:40. I have to head across town.
WOMAN
The play is the thing, man. That’s not in the script.
MAN
Look…
WOMAN
Just fall in love with already.
MAN
Love takes time to develop. You can’t just write that I fall in love with you.
WOMAN
Well, I did. So you’re wrong there.
MAN
Of course you can write it, but it doesn’t mean, that I will.
WOMAN
What am I six? I wrote a scene. I needed to open up as person and ask for what I wanted. The least you can do as a friend is finish the scene with me. Do you know what the word friend means? If you’re so scared of kissing me, perhaps, you are in love with me?
MAN
We dated for like a month.
WOMAN
I saw Moonstruck I know that people can fall in love after one awkward meeting in the basement of bakery.
MAN
That was a movie.
WOMAN
Art imitates life. Everyone knows that.
MAN
I’m not going to kiss you when I’m seeing someone else.
WOMAN
It’s not cheating if you’re acting. It’s theatre. I didn’t write a porno.
(they kiss. They look at each other lovingly.)
MAN
Yeah! I’m attracted to you!!! Happy?!
WOMAN
Now we’re supposed to exit.
MAN
Stop.
WOMAN
You stop.
MAN
No. You.
WOMAN
No. You.
MAN
No. You.
(They look at each other and start to laugh)
You’re crazy.
WOMAN
No, you’re crazy.
MAN
No y—we both are.
WOMAN
Agreed.
MAN
I do like you.
WOMAN
Me too.
MAN
But I can’t.
WOMAN
Yeah. (They look at each other in silence for a second.)
MAN
Right. Well…I got to get going.
WOMAN
Sure. Have fun.
MAN
Thanks.
(He exits.)
WOMAN
Barkeep, a triple, my good man! Must say he’s not so good at cold readings.
(BLACK OUT)
(END PLAY)
posted by rachael @ 9:58 AM
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